The Heartsick Queen

I am the queen of being heartsick. Seriously. If there was a Heartsick Queen, I would probably sweep the vote. [I guess, technically, you don’t vote for queens. Whatever, you get the picture.]

I am a serial crusher. [Not a cereal crusher, guys. That would be too messy.] If I like a guy, I'm a total goner. [Is that really how you spell goner? Ew. Dislike.] I fall head-over-heels ridiculously fast and then I walk around like a total moron hanging on his every word. My every thought surrounds him. I listen to sappy/sad songs and watch movies and think "If only that was us." It's dumb.

Because of this problem I have, I really like not having anyone to crush on. I'm a much happier person for the most part because I can listen to fun/catchy music and watch non-romantic comedies. I get more schoolwork done and my conversations are deeper.

So recently, I had a crush on this boy [You're shocked, right?] and did all of the above. But I was thinking about it and I decided that me listening to sappy music, or really even me having certain feelings for this boy, is not going to make him like me. It's just not. If God wants me to have a relationship with someone, He will make it happen whether or not I am crushing on that someone. So I've decided to give up my crushes. God's got a handle on it.

I was talking to my new friend, Stephanie, about all of this and this is what she had to say. [Yes, Stephanie, I'm a total nerd and copied and pasted this part of our conversation for myself because I like what you said so much! It's just because you're so dang cool.]

"It's funny how much we think that our emotions/feelings/etc determine who we end up with. And i think to some extent they do, but i'd rather my faith and the Lord determine it all. And then just let me have the faithfulness to follow through with it."

Yep. She's smart. I like it.